Osian’s Cinefan Film Fest: It Could Be You

YES! It could be you who gets stuck watching this film. It could also be you who walks out of the theatre twenty-thirty minutes into the film. Unfortunately, it was me who stayed for the entire length of the film, and me, who got a once-in-a-blue-moon headache while watching this disaster.

Taranjeet Singh, the director of the film, told us before the screening that we’d be experiencing ground breaking performances from Naseeruddin Shah and Kirron Kher. Always a dangerous ploy, but even if he hadn’t said that, I would have classified their performance as ground breaking – the kind that breaks the ground and goes under, hopefully never to be seen again.

The storyline: Naseerudding Shah plays Dhillon, a baggage clerk at the airport whose daughter is getting married in typical Punjabi style. He’s got extremely loud friends and family coming over from all across the globe. His daughter is marrying a good-for-nothing good-for-nothing, the other daughter wants to get into films and is dating someone who’s trying to bed her and get her to do a porn flick, one of his sons is as good-for-nothing as his going-to-be brother in law. He’s also got a nagging wife (Kirron Kher) who keeps cribbing how her fledgling career was cut short because Dhillon decided to move to England. There’s also Dhillon’s beer loving, overtly religious, don’t-give-a-damn-about-the-world-but-love-my-son-anyway father. And there’s his friends son from Canada who likes his daughter, but no one pays attention to him so they cut him out of most of the film. And there’s Dhillon’s other son who is more worried about his career and his overbearing wife.

I feel the onset of a headache just thinking about this movie, so I’ll keep this short: Dhillon fills a lottery ticket every day with the same number. One day, he wins and gets a heart attack, but nobody knows because his wife is at the gym, his son’s fooling around stealing food from fast food joints, his daughter’s fooling around with the supposed movie producer, his father’s downing beers at the pub, and his wife is working out at the gym. His other daughter quarrels with greedy her in-laws and finds him on the floor and takes him to the hospital. He has the winning ticket, but while his father spends all his time there, his wife comes over only to get him to sign cheques. Eventually, he collects the prize and the money gives him the authority to order his family around. Things get worse from here on, as we jump from one predictable outcome to another, and it all ends very stupidly.

The only enjoyable part of the movie is Kirron Kher’s ridiculous accent, and her acting as a overbearing , nagging punjabi wife/mother. Sample of her accent: she’s probably say Oi think ki ji this-a is-a movie that ju would like. She has this accent throughout the movie, and it is hilarious.

At some level, this is a confused movie – it would work rather well as an out-and-out parody of Monsoon Wedding, but they’ve messed things up by bringing in some element of seriousness. They should have gone the whole distance in either direction, instead of attempting to flit between the two genres. The scenes with the hitman and the grandfather are really very stupid.

The film gets three stamps – one that says CLICHED, another that says DUMB, and the third resembles the sole of my shoe. Man, I got a headache, just writing about the film.

Addendum: Jai zips through three of the four that I watched. About ‘It Could Be You’, he adds:

[…] after just 20 or so minutes I was crying out for the restrained, tasteful sensibility of a Govinda-David Dhawan movie. It meanders from unfunny slapstick comedy to unintentionally funny morality tale about the relative importance of family and money, to an inept hired-killer yarn with a family solemnly planning the demise of their patriarch (in a scene that�s around 15 minutes longer than it needed to be).

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