Hair Raising Issues

I’ve always had a close crop (see this and this. And this is my Alter Ego, an anti-portrait with short hair). At times, people have inquired about whether or not my hair actually grows. My half-bald homeopath in Pune once recommended (unsolicited) a medicine for hair growth, following which I recommended a barber to him. As NB once put it – there are several good doctors around, but very few good barbers. NB gets his hair restyled once a fortnight, and the only kind of doctor he ever visits is a dermatologist for a regular checkup of his scalp.

At rock concerts I usually find myself next to lots of black t-shirts with heads with long hair on them, unsuccessfully attempting to get rid of the head by bending and straightening from the waist (NOT what you’re thinking, pervert) to the tune of the bass guitar. My black t-shirt usually attempts the same, though sans the mane, and hence possibly feeling left out. Unselfishly, I decided to grow my hair.

The following are a few hair-raising facts and some comments that one is likely to receive:


  • Some Friends: “Baal katane ke paise nahih hain kya?” Translated: You don’t have money to get a haircut? ( However, note that not one of them comes forward to offer money for a haircut. O-)
  • Dad: “The Einstein look went out of fashion long ago.”
  • Uncle: “You hair looks like that of Aishwarya Rai’s ex-boyfriend. That Oberoi chap.”
  • Dog: “Woof” Translated: I’ve got longer hair than you! MUHAHAHAHA
  • Mom: “Talk to me only after you get a haircut” (Fifteen minutes later: “What’ll you have for dinner?”)
  • Sister: “I’ll talk to you only after you get a haircut.” Then looking at the grin on my face: ” No, wait! Just go get a haircut, man.”
  • Friend with shoulder-length hair (a month into the hair-raising exercise): “Ha ha ha! You call this LONG?”
  • Random strangers: “Nice hair.”
  • Still more friends: “So, you’re a Dhoni fan?” (AM NOT! I mean, I didn’t grow my hair because he’s got long hair.)


  • Fingers automatically switch from scratching the stubble to fiddling with longish strands of hair and the tendancy to run hands across the back of the head increases
  • Hair tickles once it reaches the top of the ears. That’s when you begin wondering whether you ought to tuck it in behind the ears, or allow it to fall over.
  • Shampoo (and type of shampoo) becomes important. You learn that there’s also a product called a conditioner that, unlike shampoo, shouldn’t be washed off as soon as it is applied
  • Audibility reduces ever so slightly once hair nears the ear lobes.
  • You’re often worried about whether your hair is in place or not, and are likely to look around for mirrors whenever possible. Friends get irritated when you ask them every few hours – “How’s my hair?”
  • People tend not to forget you, and the frequency of “I’ve seen you somewhere” increases. (Although sometimes, it’s “I’ve seen your photograph on that world-famous Jabberwock blog.” 😀
  • Strangely enough, I kinda felt that I was being taken a lot less seriously and as unprofessional, just because my hair was long.

So, after two and a half months, with a single visit to a barber shop for ‘Thinning” and a slight trim, my hair was finally ‘taking shape’: I didn’t look like I’d just emerged from a chemistry lab after an exothermic experiment mishap. Your hair is falling well now, I was told by the encouraging friend with shoulderlength hair.

Unfortunately, it’s summer and I have exams to give. With hair falling over my eyes, the tendancy to doze off while reading increased. Also, as a rule, I get a haircut before my exams. My head feels a lot lighter, and my scalp is feeling a little cold. Long hair is something that you end up belong to, and too much of a bother at times, while short hair is low on maintenance, and much more convenient since one doesn’t need to comb it. I’ll post the Oh, you got your hair cut? type comments later.

If actually read all of this, you may answer any or all of the following questions:

* What’s your take on guys keeping long hair. (Their own hair, I mean. No voodoo.)
* If six times four is forty two, what’s the question?
* If you’re a guy – ever grown your hair long? How did people react? Do you care?
* Approximately what percentage of this post is true?
* What’s with everyone insinuating that long hair is inspired by Dhoni? I mean – Becks had it long before Dhoni came into the limelight (I reiterate – I didnt copy!)
* Eh?

You may also like


  1. Hahahaha. I’ve been growing my hair for a year now, it’s pretty damn long.

    I’ve been geting a lot of those types of comments and worse for a long time. My girlfriend is after me to get them cut. The nice hair comments are rarer.

    And i’m the guy who goes, You call that LONG??

    As for the Dhoni comparisons, earlier i was compared to John Abraham and now Dhoni. Anytime someone says ” John Abraham banna hai?” or calls me Djoni, i feel like punching the living daylights out of them…

    Although, most the comments are funny and entertaining… It’s fun to make people uncomfortable…

    And most of this post is true..

  2. Ha! I suspect most of what you faced is a function of being in Dilli where apart from the incestuous clusterfuck of its tiny clique of rock fans (a lot of whom seem to be nu-metal faggots with banker haircuts in any case), people’s cultural cues for long hair are ridiculous. The only ‘problems’ i had was with a couple of urchins who believed I was trying to ape sanjay dutt – most other people just look at you for a few barely perceptible seconds longer than they do other people — and apart from ‘how long have you been growing your hair’ and ‘when do you plan to cut it’ – my friends are mercifully silent on the subject. You shoulda posted a few of your pics with long hair.

  3. negative creep: A whole year! I didn’t think I’d be able to get through a Delhi summer. The ‘Nice Hair’ bit was not true, as was the bit about the homeopath. This was all part fact-part fiction O-)

    NB (everything I said about him was true) actually gets the nice hair comments, apart from hooting from random females. He’s living in an Axe commercial. Heh…

    Very true about making people uncomfortable: I quite enjoyed all the negative comments on my hair, particularly from the family. 😀

    HDHD: Naah – I’d have gotten the same reaction from my family in Bombay. My uncle in Bombay is particularly prompt with witticism. My friends and family are as merciless as I am O-)

    And hey – I’ve got a banker haircut now. No photos of long hair – I realised that only after the barber has run a machine through a lot of it.

    BTW – NB is the one who advised you to avoid Limca at GIR.

  4. Get a Mohican done, like De Niro in Taxi Driver. Then you’ll have your own fan following and won’t have to bask in reflected glory 🙂

    (and as a side-benefit maybe you could crash into the next blog meet the same way Travis Bickle does in the whorehouse!)

  5. You talkin’ to me?

    (Mohican, eh? I was trying something a little different with my hair in Goa. around five years ago. The barber just listened, nodded and then gave me a modified – very wide – Mohican. I got it sufficiently altered immediately. Don’t worry about the bloggers meet – everyone will be targeted)

  6. Dhoni’s not so bad…last year a friend of mine who has long curly hair had little kids shouting “Mangal Pandey!” after him wherever he went.

    I tend to like long hair on long as they can carry it off.

    Last summer the boyfriend and I had hair of almost equal lengths and curliness. I’m told we looked strange. Very John-and-Yoko.

Leave a Reply to Aishwarya Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *